


waiting

by infiniteoceansofblue



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 20:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniteoceansofblue/pseuds/infiniteoceansofblue
Summary: the conversation that occurs in the night;elio wants something more than the summer. oliver is afraid.





	waiting

 

_somewhere in northern italy, summer of 1983_

 

The summer had become a melting pot of golden slumbers and bright skies. Each day slid into the next with a lazy innocuousness, days that were filled with morning kisses and nighttime kisses and afternoons spent gliding effortlessly through the cool lake. Elio was happy. He couldn’t remember ever being happier, nor could he remember feeling any less. It was as if, in Oliver’s presence, all sorrows no longer existed.

 

Elio felt as if he could have anything, as if the whole world was at his fingertips. But he didn’t want the whole world. He only wanted Oliver. 

 

That night, after they’d both given over their most vulnerable selves to each other, time seemed to stand still. There was no yesterday nor was there a tomorrow. Nothing mattered but that moment. Nothing mattered but the chirp of cicadas’ song and the moon casting long shadows of light over their tangled legs. It was perfect. Oliver was perfect. His gentle hands cupped lovingly over Elio’s cheeks and he looked at him with those gentle, gentle eyes. Elio closed his.

 

Bright pinpricks of tears suddenly threatened to well out, without warning. A lump sat heavily in his throat; he swallowed. Once, twice.

 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Oliver asked, voice soft with concern. His thumb came up and brushed away a loose tear on his cheekbone that’d escaped without notice. “Why are you crying?”

 

Elio found it hard to speak. His tongue was lost, or he had no words to say. So he didn’t, and simply breathed. Listened to the cicadas, felt the golden of Oliver’s easy touch against his face. Finally, he said, “I just want this so much.”

 

_I just want you so much._

 

“What do you mean?”

 

_I just love you so much._

 

Elio opened his eyes and gazed into the blue’s that looked black in the dim lighting. “I don’t know what I mean.” It was true - he didn’t know. He didn’t even know what he wanted. All he knew was this moment was unlike any other. He didn’t claim to understand anything about the universe. But he could feel something, in his chest. Something real. “I just… I just wish this could be forever.”

 

Oliver lifted his head, and his eyes looked blue again. If Elio had all of time, he would spend every second of eternity staring into them.

 

“I know. But it can’t.” Oliver said it with no malice. Only the downcast of resignation and a deep-rooted understanding.

 

He couldn’t swallow the burst of hurt that flushed his cheeks. “Why?” he asked, an unexpected fire behind the word.

 

“Elio…” He furrowed his eyebrows and frowned.

 

Elio shook his head, both at Oliver’s empty response and his own embarrassing earnest. “Forget about it.”

 

They lay there in silence, neither of them willing to say anything to clear the cloudy air. Elio cursed himself for ruining the perfect dream with his stupid, worrisome head.

 

Finally, Oliver interrupted the tension with his voice, hushed and hesitant: “Sometimes, I… I wonder. If maybe we could be something.” Hope placed its cruel hand around Elio’s heart. “It’s a beautiful thought. But…”

 

_But._

 

Elio wrapped his hand around Oliver’s. Nothing that was needed to be said could be said with words. Their foreheads pressed against each other, and they both closed their eyes.

 

Waiting.

 

For the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> my [tumblr](https://infiniteoceansofblue.tumblr.com/) 


End file.
